June 2006 (pt 1)

So Long, Farewell, Auf Weidersehen, Goodbye!

Saturday, approximately 4AM, Pascal drops the keys to his flat through the letter flap in my door, leaves the building, walks to the bus stop and begins the journey back to Germany. I am of course, asleep and it will be another 5 or 6 hours before I get up and find them lying on the floor. The afternoon before I watched the last half hour, the half hour overtime, and the kick-off of the Germany v. I-don’t-remember-who game with him and a couple of other German volunteers. I think telling you Pascal has been on television saying “Football is life” gives you enough of an idea about what that was like.

The point of the above tale? My first goodbye in a series of many that will and have already taken place in my last two weeks. Of these many goodbyes, there are some that I am looking forward to and feel I can’t say soon enough. Most others, though, I don’t know that I want to say “farewell!” just yet. And then there are the few that I’m somewhat ambivalent about. It’s the usual time-to-move-on-but-not-sure-if-want-to-going-to-happen-anyway conundrum. Certainly I am not the only one saying good-bye to people and places. At the college, there are students who have completed their course and may or may not be returning in the fall; there are staff who are moving on and saying goodbye to students and colleagues. At church there are persons retiring or graduating, often moving, and usually to another country. And of course, there are the other YAGMs, YAVs, and TfG-ers. It isn't necessarily a matter of being ready to leave. It’s life dictating now is the time to go.

I don’t know of anyone who really genuinely likes goodbyes. They are, in general, saying goodbye not for a short period of time, but forever. We are constantly changing, so each time we meet, even if it’s the difference from morning to night, we’re different people. Not drastically different, of course (unless there’s some major tragedy that befalls the day such as the oft talked about July 7th London bombings and 9/11). But the change is noticeable with long-term separations. As I say goodbye now, it’s not a “we’re going to keep in touch and visit when money allows trans-Atlantic journeys” but “Goodbye forever because the next time we meet, no matter how often we e-mail or call, the person I’ll present to you next time won’t be the same as the one hugging you now.” And when I land in Detroit in the no longer far off future, it won't really be "Welcome back!" but "Hello! Who are you?" Yeah... like I know!

And for some reason, the pictures I'm trying to upload don't actually want to upload, so you'll just have to wait a few days for part 2.